At unusual occasions in our life, we feel hopelessly exhausted. Despair fills the vacuum which is result of absence of desire. For once you feel more deep, more alone and more weak. All the voices you hear, of your loved ones and friends, sounds useless and empty. You feel like surrounded by dense darkness, cz you can’t see clearly what is in front of you. Those moments when you realize that it isn’t going how you were told or how you expected it to go. You find yourself standing at a cross road which, you know, will change everything eventually; how they will see you and how you will see yourself. You fear that down the path on which you’ll choose to walk, there may come many times when you will think to return…or even quit. Will that be your end?
Raising your feet, you try to look as far as possible, to capture a glimpse of ‘what’s coming up next’. Just after a mile, a sharp turn blocks your gaze, leaving your curiosity in the hands of your imagination. What brain thinks after that, depends on other details. Details like ambiance of the place where you are standing, wind flow on that day or mood of your heart, maybe.. No matter how critical your brain is capable of thinking, nothing during these moments appears reasonable. Emotions from trust, risk and your previous experiences, creeps into your nerves all at once and give you an incredibly unique feeling. Which direction to follow? Which road to opt? What rules shall be considered? All the teachings are useless if you can not even separately weigh surety and possible dangers for a particular pathway. But all choices are not that easy. In fact, most of the choices are difficult in life.
Though you need to remember this; This dilemma is the hardest part of the journey. Once you take first few step, you will have to succeed at every next step. It will be your existence at stake. How you find your way on that ‘path’, is the real test. No one can predict or promise you brightness in tomorrow. Not one can tell you what future will look like. You can’t expect any help because the road you are walking on was never walked by others.
Only you can decide it. Only you have to fight it. Only you have to survive it.
So gather yourself and make a move. Whatever you decide, be honest with your reasons. You can only be as correct as your wisdom allows you to be. There is nothing more you can do. Spending some time on that intersection, you can, at least, recognize this by now:
Assurance is not in the answers anymore.
Companionship is never a luxury with you.
And ‘To regret’ was never your forte.