We all love the feeling of assurance about our future, we all like to be prepared. So we plan! Almost each and every phase of our life, by predicting every possible detail so there’s nothing too abrupt to handle. No one likes ad-hoc, not at least in bad ways. If it is in our hands, we would decide about every breath of our life’s journey from the moment we open our eyes till we finally closes it. Only if…its in our hands…

Sudden change of events and you painfully feel out of equation. How to survive and how to go to back to that track whose every turn you had planned. Where you know what’s coming up next. However, you being an interdependent soul, can’t always go back to where you should be. Because, others have changed their equations and now, your calculations don’t work anymore. You realize it is immature to plan or predict something so fluid. Do you stop to plan?

“Love is empowering”

Too often and very loosely used word –  Love. How casually we say that we love, without comprehending its power and limits. But we do feel that it carries a magnificent aura which makes us believe in impossible. Nothing in the sphere of countless feelings, which any one with heart can feel, can match the wonders of love. It has power to give life to the dead, such a strong healer it is. Only angels can define how divine Love is. When gods from heaven would have set the whole earth, with creatures and their thoughts and emotions. Just when they would have seen a new life taking birth, opening its minute, innocent and inquisitive eyes, stretching its tiny hands to the nearest thing and giving angelic smile; it must be that moment when Gods had implant the most pure, supreme emotion of all, in every living creature….Love…

Only those, who get a chance to feel its powers, understands its existence. Rest of us are walking with numbness, waiting for our death. Such a sacred emotion…can it ever become a reason to make you numb? To take life out of your heart?

When broken equations have love as one of its variable, it results in unbearable pain. After all, divine emotions will definitely carry colossal sufferings in its absence. Lost on your path, you don’t want to walk anymore. However, you an interdependent soul, you can’t end it just like that. Hence, once again, despite your learning, you prepare and plan. To never feel a beat, to never hold a heart. Every day you teach yourself about cruel, superficial and fake world. You deliberately want to punish yourself for ‘loving’ someone. You make a great defense to guard your dripping heart. With a fool-proof plan to protect it from undefinable ache, you decide to never fall in Love…But only if…..its in your hands…

Someday, someone finds you! 
Shows you the way, 
Shows you the light,
Embrace your pain,
Hold you and say,
'You don't have to fight'..
That someone..
In whose trusting eyes,
your dead faith,
starts to take life,
Whose silent gaze,
heals your way,
In whose comforting arms,
You think you can hide..

It feels hard to accept someone genuine, after a while. Because one thing which you have mastered with time, is to be skeptical. To be always ready to pick up a knife and kill any relation. Even if it was not your original identity. Even if you knew compassion and tenderness. But since these traits cost you a lot. you don’t want to face it again. You don’t want to lower your guards, risking your heart, which hasn’t revived or might not ever. You tremble with the idea and mere recollection from past about how it was to see him leaving. How were those days, those nights and all those moments in between. How were you so naive to believe in what he said. How you thought love is eternal. And with him, by your side, you can fight even your death.

Lying in his arms, once again you think,
Does love exist or its illusion,
Trying to unravel 'truth' from story,
In the pool of mind's endless confusion..
Every time he makes you feel safe,
You drop a part of your Armour,
With shaking spirit, 
due to tormenting fear,
reluctantly you fall on his chest, 
as and when he pulls you near..
Desperate to love, 
yet too scared to do,
Without saying a word,
You want him to know,
How loving someone is your last resort,
How you'll bleed to death,
if it ever blows,
How impossible it would be,
for you to end,
your life's equation, if you ever drift apart..

Does it mean you won’ t ever love? And let ‘fear’ takes dominance over everything? Eternity won’t ever find itself. Turns on this unsteady road are always going to be uncertain. Aren’t you ready to take the risk? Of trusting him.. believing in his words.. or his consoling arms.. Aren’t you ready to take the risk? Of loving him.. with whatever you’ve got….? or maybe, you are.. You just need to rearrange the equation.. Or make a new one…